


My Courage Left On the First Train

by ReginaRiverMayHill (orphan_account)



Series: There Is No Halo Above My Head [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Family Issues, Guilt, Headcanon, Maria Hill Is Not An Ice Queen, Past Child Abuse, Reality, Self-Hatred, Triggers, Why Did I Write This?, because i had to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 12:59:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2773898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ReginaRiverMayHill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a day, when S.H.I.E.L.D. was the top of the food chain, when H.Y.D.R.A. was a whisper, when Loki had come and gone and the strangest relationships ran in circles around the agents. There was a day when things piled up atop one another, when a daily routine wasn't daily, when the people you loved the most couldn't fix anything. There was a day when another day was too much.</p>
<p>That day is a legend, a whisper, a day that only surely happened to those who were there.</p>
<p>Her eyes were wide as she curled up against the wall, murmuring one word against chapped lips. She flinched away from every person who held a hand out to help her up. Most stood around, watching the Ice Queen as she finally unraveled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Courage Left On the First Train

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Curves and Edges](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2735399) by [ChElFi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChElFi/pseuds/ChElFi). 



There was a day, when S.H.I.E.L.D. was the top of the food chain, when H.Y.D.R.A. was a whisper, when Loki had come and gone and the strangest relationships ran in circles around the agents. There was a day when things piled up atop one another, when a daily routine wasn't daily, when the people you loved the most couldn't fix anything. There was a day when another day was too much.

That day is a legend, a whisper, a day that only surely happened to those who were there.

But that day happened, and to some it changed their whole perspectives. It wasn't a tall tale legend like the Cavalry. It was a small happening in which reality struck many straight in the face.

It started out simply, a walk down a crowded hallway, the strut of boots as others scurried out of the way.

Then it proceeded very quickly.

A single misstep and a stumble into the Deputy Director. The ignorance of the people behind Maria as they kept walking. The trigger when her hand burnt from the hot coffee spilt over it. The hit of her head against the wall as she froze and fell in shock from the trigger.

Her eyes were wide as she curled up against the wall, murmuring one word against chapped lips. She flinched away from every person who held a hand out to help her up. Most stood around, watching the Ice Queen as she finally unraveled.

She shuddered with every clomp of the two boots the hordes of people brought. Finally as the boots stood in front of her shaking, skinny frame she looked up to see a familiar face. He kneeled down, peering at her Maria Hill through his one eye.

"Hill" Fury said to her and her head snapped up, looking at him with wide eyes filled with panic and a fear instilled respect.

"Come on, get up" he said softly, to the amazement of every bystander.

"I can't sir. I'm trying but I can't" she whispered to her sleeve.

"Yes you can. You're out of his grip now. He can't touch when you're here. That's why joined, so you wouldn't have to go back to him" Fury said to her and her eyes filled with tears, her brow creasing in thought as she remembered what he just said.

"He's dead. They called a week ago. That's why you couldn't reach me on Wednesday" she said to him, her face vulnerable. He dropped his head and looked down.

"Dammit Hill!" she flinched at his yell and his eye softened at her movement.

"I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me?"

She lowered her head, almost ashamed to tell him.

"You would have made me take leave. I couldn't take a week off. Dawson, Gretzky, and Levi's family needed to be called. I needed to go to their funerals. I couldn't just leave them, they deserved . . ." she trailed off, her emotions getting the better of her.

Silence ensued.

"They're just so many of them. Do you ever just- I, I tried not care but I can't. They were my agents and now they're not" she said, her voice cutting through the silence like a sharp knife.

"Yes" he said simply and her head dropped in defeat.

Thundering footsteps brought another familiar face.

"Maria?! Oh my gosh! Maria!" Steve yelled as he encountered her hedgehog like form against the wall.

Her face brightened with a minute piece of hope as she saw her husband's and he ran towards her.

"I'm sorry" she whispered to his shoulder as he held her but he shook his head.

"There's nothing to be sorry for" he murmured into her hair.

Slowly he lifted her up until she was standing, even with him on her feet.

He felt the hot coffee on her hand and his face narrowed in understanding.

"Was the burn a trigger?" he asked her gently, wiping away a stray tear that had slid down her cheek.

She nodded. "But also my father and Dawson and Gretzky and" she collapsed into Steve's arms, sobbing heavily as Steve's face tightened in pain as he endured his wife's.

They, Fury, Steve, and Maria left after that. No one saw Steve or Maria for three days after that. The security camera feed disappeared for that hallway at that time and was never seen again.

When Maria came back she was the same. But the agents treated her with less contempt, less cruel nicknames, more respect.

That is the legend of Hill's unraveling.

Not many have heard the true story.

Even less have seen it.

But those who have, have also met reality.

Dead on.


End file.
